"If you would know Love, you must know Pain too"

I heard the parable of the sower with fresh eyes this week. After months of growth, with Grace defining me now instead of shame, I saw myself invariably, as every “bad seed.” The seed trampled on. The seed choked. The shallow seed. And that’s when God immediately began to speak to me through His word. God took that seed of truth before the enemy and before the lies could snatch it. And then, He planted that seed in my heart. 

I believe He does this with all of us. He plants seeds of truth in our hearts. Yet more often than not, the planting process hurts. It often takes trial and fire for us to realize we even need to be planted. God needs to clear out all the crap in our hearts to make room for the seed. While the planting hurts, however, it is always good for us in the end. 

One of my favorite passages from one of my favorite books goes like this, when the Shepherd is about to plant a seed into Much-Afraid's own heart: “It is so sharp that it slips in very quickly. But, Much-Afraid, I have already warned you that Love and Pain go together, for a time at least. If you would know Love, you must know pain too.” We forget that seeds have sharp edges. We forget that we are broken people with sin and worldly things in our hearts. For every inch deeper that seed has to grow, an inch of crap in our hearts has to be cleared out, so that seed has room to grow. In order to know God’s truth and identity, and in order for these things to take deep root in our hearts, we must know pain. If everything went wonderful all the time, we would have no opportunities to cling to these truths as if they were our lifelines. 

Pain is real. Days (sometimes weeks) of emotional pain, physical exhaustion from fighting so hard. These are real things. Yet so is growth. So is Truth. So is Hope and Identity.

The planting hurts but we can rest in the fact that the future is bright because of it. We will know love and truth that is so much sweeter than the pain.   Once the planting process is over and we have become deeply rooted in our identity, the truth and the life we find is so much sweeter. 

Then he pressed the thorn into her heart. It was true, just as he had said, it did cause a piercing pain, but it slipped in quickly and then, suddenly, a sweetness she had never felt or imagined before tingled through her. It was bittersweet, but the sweetness was the stronger. She thought of the Shepherd’s words, ‘It is so happy to love,’ and her pale, sallow cheeks suddenly glowed pink and her eyes shown. For a moment Much-Afraid did not look afraid at all.” 

As we continue to let God grow us deeper, the truth is all we have to hold on to. Hold the truth, trust the process.  Slowly, sometimes painfully, it will all start to come together. We’re never given more than we can take without Him. We will bend, but never break. For if we hold on and keep letting God plant seeds in our hearts, we may look back and find that the pain seems like nothing, compared to God’s deep rooted truth.