I was on a retreat this past weekend, and at one point, I found myself making pancakes for 60 people with a dear friend at 6:30 AM. We were delirious from the 5 interrupted hours of sleep we’d gotten the previous night, and I was running purely on Jesus and loads of coffee. It eventually came time for flipping the pancakes, but we only had a pan and a griddle with a raised center and edges that eventually sloped down. I watched as my friend’s pancakes turned out perfectly circular. When I battered my own griddle however, it sloped down the sides and the pancakes ended up looking like they had feet protruding out of them. On most other occasions, I would have heard the lies. “Your pancakes aren’t perfect. You’re a failure. Look at what you did?” Shame’s voice would be loud and I would have to stop and remind myself that because of grace, I could accept the truth (that I am perfectly imperfect and beautifully flawed). In this particular moment however, shame never had the chance to speak. It was silent. The two of us laughed at the crazily shaped pancakes, and I continued to flip pancakes without giving it a second thought.
I used to think that shame was the opposite of grace. That moment showed me that love is. I have never doubted this friend’s love and care for me. Every time I see her, she hugs me and tells me how beautiful I am. I knew in that moment that she could care less about the shape of the pancakes, and even if she did, she didn’t love me any less because of it.
That’s the way God’s love is for us. Unconditional, not based on circumstance, not a feeling or emotion, but the core of His being. God is the only one capable of loving us like this 100% of the time. And this love, agape love, conquers shame.
I’ve tasted that. In that sweet moment, where my friend loved me through God’s agape love, shame didn’t even exist. If shame was a weed, grace would keep it from not growing too tall and not taking over my life. But agape would pull that weed out completely.
Grace reminds me that I can receive that agape. Grace reminds me that I’m worthy of agape. But only agape, only unconditional love, can completely conquer shame and pull it out of my heart for good.
So friends, let's fall into His perfect love for us, and watch our shame and fear disintegrate and disappear.
Hey, love has conquered all your shame
I know you got things that you regret
But your story isn't over yet
It doesn't matter where you've been, don't forget
It's not what you've done, it's what His love is doing
It's not who you were, it's who you are becoming
Have you heard that He makes all things new
I believe His love's not done with you, no no
His love's not done with you
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